When someone lies to you.

Being lied to especially by persons you never thought would lie to you can make you feel many emotions and ways. It’s important to understand why these people would lie, and what they would lie about.

People usually lie in order to cover up a mistake, hide something about themselves from fear of being unaccepted, getting punished or rejected. Then there are people who lie for selfish reasons even when the truth is the easier alternative. Neither of these reasons are acceptable.

When a person finds out they were lied to at least 1 of 5 things can happen:

1. Broken trust. Finding out this person who was close to you has lied can definitely weaken the bond you share with them especially if it’s a big/ minipulative lie. It’s hard to come back from that state and trusting a person again because the lie will always be at the back of your every thought. Even if it was a small unnecessary lie, it will be hard for you to trust again. Everything they tell you there after will be hard for you to believe considering if they could lie of a simple thing why wouldn’t they lie of something more significant. Therefore, once trust is broken it’s hard to fully trust again.

2. Anger. I don’t know of one person who wouldn’t feel angry after finding out a person has told them a lie. It definitely angers you and even though anger does nothing for you, it’s a perfectly acceptable reaction. However, when anger clouds the mind people tend to make bad decisions and would resort to doing things they will later regret. Try to calm yourself and try not to make rash decisions.

3. Hurt. Everyone is hurt when being lied to. Some shows it in anger while some alienated themselves. Being lied to especially by someone you thought wouldn’t ever lie, makes you feel unworthy and unimportant. It’s a tougher punch when you know you will never lie to that person or ever do what they did to you, to them. You feel you are unworthy of the truth and it hurts you deeply inside. Some people claim they lie to protect your feelings because they didn’t want to hurt you but eventually when you do find out it still hurts because not only did they lie, they kept the truth from you for so long until you’d discovered it on your own. That’s why they saying goes “hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with a lie.”

4. Disrespected. One thing, if you do respect yourself, having people lie to you would definitely make you feel disrespected which in fact that’s exactly what they are doing to you. No matter the size of the lie, lying to a person is disrespectful and definitely show the lack of care. What’s even more disrespectful is when you do confront the person they either act defensive and make it seems as if it’s your fault they had to lie or they cover it up with another lie. Respect yourself and walk away.

5. Think it’s your fault. Not the case for everyone, but especially people with low self-esteem or confidence they will think it’s their fault they were lied to in the first place and accept it without saying or doing anything. This is one of the worst ways you can feel for something you DID NOT do. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel that way, you need to get up, give yourself a slap and knock some sense into you because honey, it’s never your fault someone lies or hurt you. That is a reflection of who that person is and not you. And if you continue letting this person get away with it and blaming yourself, they will continue disrespecting you and hurting you until one day you’re unable to and you break down. Never is it ever okay to lie to people you claim to love or share a relationship – familial or love, big or small a lie is a lie therefore it is never okay to blame yourself for something out of your control.

You can’t control how a person treats you or what they say to you but you can definitely control how you react to it. It will always hurt, but you just have to pick up the pieces and value yourself enough to not take that anymore and stand up for yourself, confront the person and if you may, get closure.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Really enjoyed this. Be sure to check out my page!

    1. ChumattieJ says:

      Thank you! Will do 🙂

  2. Philomath says:

    I hate liars, specially me when I do it. The thing I found is everyone lies, and it’s a fact of life.

    That’s why I respect Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative regarding not lying. A quote from Frederick Niche sums it up nicely “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

    It’s a horrible thing, but all we can do is write about it, and try to be bad at lying. Below is a poem, pro, or something I came up with, thinking about this subject.

    http://swarmverdict.com/2015/02/25/the-selfish-truth/

    1. ChumattieJ says:

      I love the quote! And great job on the poem! 👍

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