So I recently came across a question posted by someone on instagram and it got me thinking. And since I’m short on blog topics lately, I found this to be a great topic to give my opinion on. The question was: “What do you do if your college sweetheart, someone you could possibly marry (or definitely) has different plans than you do after you graduate? Do you stick by their side or follow your dreams at the risk of losing them?”
Let me start of by saying, you’re now graduating college, you’re YOUNG! Getting married, is a MAJORRR life decision. Remember, you’re planning on spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with this person. Are you at that age and maturity to make such decision right now? I’m not saying that it’s not possible to already know what you want, but what I’m saying is, this has been the only person you’ve been with the entire time in school, you always hang out with them, see them every day, and it has been such a routine thing that because you’ve always been together in that little “box” known as your school, you might only be seeing the little picture. What happens when you’re done and you begin to move on with different things like work or further studies if you decide to follow your dreams? You are bound to meet new people, grow individually and really realize what you want from life. Lets face it everybody changes when they grow up and the decisions you make when you’re young might change. Think about it, giving up on your dreams because you think you’ll get married to that person and then later when you become older you feel differently, you’re not only giving up on your dreams but you’re going to give them up for something which you’ll possibly change your mind about later on, therefore its a lose lose, situation.
However, lets say you’re sure this person is the one and you are fully mature to make such decision and you know this person well enough. Guess what? Neither one of you should have to give up your dreams to save your love life. You both already knew what each other was about and what you wanted out of life, therefore when you made that decision to be with together, you both accepted everything of each other with all the baggage and all. Therefore, if your lover really “loves” you and want to spend the rest of their life with you, they will definitely wait for you and vise versa. Love shouldn’t have to cost you your dream or anything for that matter. You had those dreams long before you met that person and having meeting them you shouldn’t have to change who you are or what you want to become. Remember they accepted you for who you are in the beginning. Therefore, I say if you’re pursuing your dreams, continue doing so. If that person really care about you and want to possibly get married to you, they will support you no matter what, and most importantly wait for you. However, these feelings should be mutual and reciprocated. You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams so that they could follow theirs alone, you should both follow your own and stick with each other.
Lets put it this way, if you feel you continuing your dreams will cost you your love, then need less to say, that person doesn’t love you the way you love them and they were only planning to spend a short period in your life, not forever. However, if they are totally supportive with your decisions and you really want your relationship to last, you BOTH need to set time aside for each other too. You should be able to compromise and work together to make things work especially with this new addition in your life, because a relationship only flourishes with effort from both sides. So go ahead follow your dreams AND hold on to your love. In this case with a little hard work, you can have your cake and eat it too! 🙂